Parenting with Positivism : Issue 19


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Feb 2016 . VOLUME 19 . ISSUE 19 Tips for raising your superstar with common-sense and Love
Hug your Child: Parenting tip that works!

There is nothing better than hugging and snuggling our children – it is an easy way to show your love for them. However, sometimes we get into a routine and forget to hug our loved ones. Hugs and cuddles between parents and kids dwindle during the school years — and by adolescence, they’re pretty much gone.But there are good reasons to keep them, or some variation of them, alive.It raises kids’ spirits immeasurably. Think of touch as a kind of shorthand, a powerful way to communicate affection, care and concern for your child. When you drape your arms around your little ones’ shoulders- it’s nurturing. This is how kids learn about appropriate touch, what feels good, what doesn’t, and how relationships work — about boundaries, communicating your feelings, expressing your needs and responding to someone else’s.

You wouldn’t believe it, but there is scientific research happening across the world on hugging children. As per a research, children need a minimum of eight touches during a day to feel connected to a parent. If they are going through a particularly challenging time, it’s a minimum of twelve in a day. You may be thinking at this point- should I now keep a journal for hugs too? No. This doesn’t have to be a big deal; it could be straightening of a collar, a pat on the shoulder or a simple hug. But do it as much as you can.
Children are most attentive when we look them straight in the eye.The more parents make eye contact with their child, the more that child is nourished with love!. Think about it – we’ve all tried to have a conversation with someone who keeps looking away.  It’s unbearable, isn’t it!  And our feelings toward that person are very much affected by this.  We all tend to like people who are able to maintain good eye contact with us.

Each day, children need one meaningful eye-to-eye conversation with a parent. It’s especially important for babies to have that eye contact, but children of all ages need to slow down and look them in the eyes. Unfortunately, most people really underestimate the importance of eye contact. Also, there is need to be careful here.  When a parent uses this powerful means of control at his disposal mostly in a negative way, to convey a strong point to a child, or for reprimanding and criticizing, this is a disastrous mistake! 

There are nine minutes during the day that have the greatest impact on a child: the first three minutes right after they wake up, three minutes after they come home from school, the last three minutes of the day before they go to bed.

We need to make those moments special and help our children feel loved. These are simple, right?
Try these:

Whenever you feel like scolding (or, God forbid, beating) your child, take a deep breath You worry about their studies? Ask them to study their favorite subject on their own.
Send them to one exam without studying at all. Remember: what our kids are learning in fifth standard in India, is taught in seventh standard in most of the western countries.
Do this: Let’s keep our kids out of unwanted competition. Don’t scare them with future; 80% of what our kids are learning won’t be useful to them in future.Our kids can really afford to do what they want to do in future.
Stop being a degree collector. Higher degrees do not guarantee success and happiness. Don’t be overwhelmed by the “neighbor’s kid is better” syndrome; not all the highly educated people do well professionally.
Understand that kids are always in the party mood. Most of all, remember, your kid might be 5 years old, 12 year old or 16 years old- she would always need your nurturing.
When was the last time you hugged your child? Perhaps, it’s time to do it again. Trust us, both you and your little prodigy would feel awesome!
No matter how busy you are if your child wants to hug you… Hug them as long as they need to until the moment THEY decide to let go!
PARENT- SPEAK
Our children’s happiness makes our day, isn’t it? Let’s work together to achieve it. It’s never too late to start thinking about your child and help them be happy always. Share what extra you did, to make your child feel safe and happy; we’ll feature it on all online platforms! Write in to us at [email protected] and we will publish them on our website! We will be waiting to hear from you!